


Binary Stars

by rosymamacita



Series: planet two suns [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, S6 speculation, two suns planet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 00:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17756762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosymamacita/pseuds/rosymamacita
Summary: Immediately after season 5 is over, Bellamy and Clarke discuss who should be woken first. Which is business she can handle. They discuss 2199 days that have gone past... which she can't.





	Binary Stars

First they woke Abby. 

“This is the planet with the two suns, Clarke, you’re the only one who can be on the surface without getting radiation poisoning. And we’ve had enough of that,” Bellamy said while he made his bid for who they should wake first.

“Me and Madi,” Clarke said, biting her lip.

“Exactly. And we don’t want to use your blood—“

“Bone marrow.”

He looked horrified. She could see the memories of Mount Weather in his eyes. She had them, too. 

“Even worse,” He said. “So we wake your mom and Jackson, and they make the night blood, then everyone will be protected on the planet. You won’t be special anymore.” He grinned at her then, ducking his head and looking up at her through his hair in a way that made her stomach flip. She couldn’t have that. She nodded swiftly. Business like.

“Like on Becca’s island. What she needed was zero G.”

Bellamy waved his hand at the window, looking out on deep space on the other side of the galaxy. “We have that.”

Once Abby was woken, they needed Raven and Shaw, to handle the technical side. That was also his suggestion. It was easier for her to let him decide. He was used to organizing people. She’d only had Madi. And she wanted her to wake, too.

“Definitely,” he said. “She’s the Commander. She has to be in on the decisions.”

“She’s eleven, Bellamy.”

He nodded. “And we’ll be here to help her make the right choices, won’t we?” She nodded. That was true at least. “And Gaia, to help her control the flame. She helped her. The more control she has, the more she won’t be at its mercy.”

Clarke nodded. Bellamy seemed to have everything under control. He seemed to know what to do. “We should wake Octavia and Diyoza, too, then. They know their people, what they need. How they’ll react to things.”

Bellamy bit his lip and looked away. She wanted to put her hand on his arm, to tell her she understood his sorrow and horror over what Octavia had become, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t hers. 

“We should wake Indra too. And Miller. They can keep her in line.”

He shrugged. “Can they?” 

She wanted to hug him so badly, but she lost that right. A long time ago. “We should wake your family, too,” she said. He needed them. “Echo. Murphy and Emori.” 

Bellamy nodded, slowly, and stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. He turned her to face him. “You’re my family, too, Clarke, you know that right? You and Madi?”

Something in her chest twisted. She shoved it down and smiled brightly at Bellamy. “You’re my family, too,” and she knew the words rang falsely, because that was not it. That was not what he was to her, that was only the smallest part of what he was to her and she couldn’t let him know the rest because it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t real and he didn’t share it. So she smiled. And nodded. And let it be enough.

He shook his head. “No. Not like that, Clarke.”

“What?” Her throat was inexplicable dry, her heart suddenly leaping instead of twisting, maybe both. He held her with both hands now, firmly, so he could look into her eyes. His eyes wouldn’t let her go. 

“Madi told me, Clarke.”

“Told you what?” Her words were a bare whisper, but she couldn’t let him know that it was not on purpose, that she did not have control over her voice, over her tongue, over the wild fluttering of her heart.

“She told me you called me every day you were down there. For six years.”

2199 days, she thought, but didn’t say. She just stared into his brown eyes. So warm. So deep. She had never forgotten his eyes but she had forgotten the way they made her feel.

“I talked to you, too, Clarke.”

Clarke’s breath caught.

“Every day. For 2199 days, I stood at the window and I told you what I was thinking, told you what I was feeling.”

“What?”

“Every day. I talked to you, too. I never forgot you. I never let you go.”

Clarke had to swallow. “But… but you thought I was dead.”

He nodded, his hands clenching on her arms. He shrugged. ‘My head knew you were dead. My heart?” He shook his head helplessly. “My heart didn’t care. Clarke, I was in lo—“

“You have a girlfriend.”

He held on tighter. “If you had made it to the ship—“

“Don’t.”

“If you had made it we could have—“

“Don’t, Bellamy.” The panic tightened at her throat and she broke his grip on her, pulling away. The thought of all she had lost. Of all that could have been. She couldn’t bear it. She went to the window, looked out at the planet with the two suns below them. Remembered what the dead earth looked like. Remembered those long six years of living there. Without him.  
She felt him come up behind her. 

He let out a breath. She nearly melted. How was it that just someone’s breath could be so dear. 

“I’m sorry Clarke, I just wanted you to know how I felt. If you don’t feel the same—“

“Bellamy…” and his name was filled with all her pain. Six years worth of it. And now. Knowing that he was not hers and could never be hers. “Bellamy… I can’t think about what could have happened…I can’t imagine… I can’t let myself imagine what I lost, that I could have had you…” The words came out choked, nearly voiceless. “It hurts.”

“Clarke,” he said, and he was so sympathetic…so caring… so sad. His hand lightly brushed her back, for comfort, she was sure, and she slipped away from his touch.

She stood at the side of the window and he stood at the other, that look on his face that said how sorry he was.

“I can’t think about the life I didn’t get to have with you, and the rest. I can’t think about being your family or anything else.”

“You are my family, Clarke. You always are, and always will be.”

She choked the sob that wanted to rise back down. She didn’t feel like it. What she’d done. All those years. Just her and Madi. “If I had made it, Madi would probably have died. She would have been all alone. She was just a little girl, Bellamy. That would have been worse. I got left—I stayed behind so I could find Madi.”

“Madi is our family, too, Clarke. I won’t ever let anything happen to her, I promise. I love her, too. You believe me, don’t you?”

Their choices lie between them. The flame. The gladiator ring. Echo. The Eligius. Everything they’d sacrificed. But Clarke believed that Bellamy would do everything in his power to protect Madi. And he’d done it even when he hadn’t agreed with his actions. He had stood there, beside Madi, and protected her. That was the man he was. Just like she’d always seen in him. A good man. A man she could trust. She nodded. “I believe you. And I believe that we can start a new life, me and Madi. You and Echo.”

He shook his head, one short, sharp shake and opened his mouth as if to speak but no words came out. 

“ We can all be family, now. Because this is the life we have. This is the life we got. Me and Madi. You and Echo. Whatever we could have had? We didn’t. I spent too many years dreaming and wishing…I had to let it go. And now you have another life, too.” For a second she thought she’d given it away that she hadn’t let it go, hadn’t at all, until she saw him with Echo, but the pain was still too new. It hadn’t settled into her bones yet, gotten slower and deeper so she could breathe through it. It was still too sharp. She had to cut it off, completely. “And it’s a good life.”

She nodded as if it was decided. “She’s good for you. You’re happy. And I’m happy, too, with Madi. We can live with the lives we’ve got now, instead of the one that could have been. We should forget impossibilities, stop dwelling in the past. And look forward.” She was proud of herself for getting it out without the tears she could feel wanting to rise. She’d save those for when she was alone. 

He watched her, though, as if he didn’t believe her. For a moment, Clarke thought that he would say no. That he would tell her he wanted something different, something more and her heartbeat sped up again. But instead, he lowered his eyes. 

“We have a world to explore,” he said, and looked up at her, something deep burning in his gaze. “We’re a team again, and we’re going to be the good guys, now. Together.”

The word took her breath away. Like a vow. The times they’d shared it, years past, echoed through the ship. “Together,” she said and nodded. 

They went to wake Echo, Murphy and Emori, and it wasn’t until much later that she realized he hadn’t agreed to forget.

**Author's Note:**

> I just hit 4k followers on tumblr, so I decided to write you guys a story based on all my theories for s6 coming up. I will hopefully get up a post over there for the celebration, but right now, I just wanted to post it.
> 
> I don't know how many chapters I'll get out. Or if I'll get to the end of my spec. I don't know if I'll make it one story or interconnected scenes, or maybe even random theories that arent' connected. I'm still considering. I guess we'll see what happens.


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